hi i'm not completely sure if it's ok writing this but i feel like my body's not been mine lately and i've been eating less again and pretending it's fine but i know it's not, and i just don't know how to stop this cycle i feel like it's gonna keep happening for the rest of my life

I don't even know if I actually have an ED or if I'm just being dramatic because some days I eat fine and other days I eat too much and other days I won't let myself eat anything at all and I just can't really tell what it is.

Hi, I feel like I've been having this issue for so many years but I've never really thought it was that big of a deal—every single time I go out and I'm wearing something more fitting, I have to suck in and I just don't feel comfortable being around others with my authentic body and it makes me so upset that I'm so self-conscious about it because I feel like it's not even that important and I still do it. I just don't really know how to fix it and I don't really feel comfortable going to a formal doctor about it.

I don't know how to explain this but recovery feels like losing a part of my identity. I don't know who I am without my routines and my rules. Everyone says it gets better but it's been months and I just feel emptier.

I've been tracking every calorie since I was 13 and I'm 19 now, and it feels like a part of me I can't get rid of. I don't binge or purge anymore but I still panic if I don't know the number and I don't think I qualify as "sick" anymore but I don't feel recovered either. I just don't know if this is normal.

I was doing okay for a while but I looked through old pictures of when I was sick and I miss it which is literally insane to say. But I miss how small I looked and I hate that part of me still wants that back.