how it is now

The shell that surrounds me 

Is contained of sweetened cafe drinks 

It is contained of birthday parties 

And celebration 

How it is now defines me

More than how it used to be 

It used to be terrifying 

And cold 

The warmth of life was never felt 

My shell was injected 

With empty and tasteless meals 

This is not how I know myself 

This was not who I am

How it is now 

Was never a destination 

It is just me 

I just had to figure out what that meant 

Before I was able to be warm