Tell Me

When I look in the mirror,

I look too fat,

Too wide,

My clothing oversized,

Tell me, is someone lying to me?

When I speak out loud,

My voice shuts down,

My hands instinctively adjusting my clothes,

My mind holding me captive,

Tell me, am I lying to myself?

When I step onto the scale,

I see overweight written on it,

I begin writing down my calories,

Checking everything I grab at the store,

Tell me, is my reality a lie?

When I sit down,

I make sure to tuck my stomach,

To lift my thighs,

To sit up straight,

Tell me, please, tell me, what is real and what is not?